Like I said before it's great to hear others have gone through this......again, not that I mean that I wish this on you or other people......I wish you hadn't endured this but I mean to be not alone in this means a lot. When the talk of Bailey's depression first appeared on this thread I had a lot of indecision about if I was comfortable enough to be able to add to this topic.



6 years ago I took a kitchen knife with me to bed with the intention to end my life and the only thing that stopped me is that my father had a son from a previous marriage that had been murdered in 2003 and I had to watch him bury a son......no father should have to do that and my father who was always tough as bricks I saw a wreck in tears and the thought that he'd have to do that again was the only thing that stopped me.



The one that I'm ashamed of is that unlike others on here I continually refuse to get professional help. The daft thing is, I do know it's whats best for me...but like Smokey said, depression can show itself as lack of motivation and I haven't had the motivation to seek help.



That and the other symptoms he mentions "lack of motivation, trouble sleeping, lack of energy, avoiding social activities and contact with friends and a higher propensity for substance".....



I'm lucky if I get 3 hours sleep a day, I push friends away when they organise social activities and make excuse for not attending and for substance abuse I absolutely hammer vodka and cociane on a regular basis......not proud of it but it's what gets me through the days unfortunately.

The one principle I work hard to live by is to force myself out of my comfort zone every single day, it's only then that the condition improves. 'The things you feel least like doing are the things you need to be doing', it's like a job in itself making the right decisions every minute of everyday, build the wall one brick at a time. One thing that's saved me is being ultra competitive, I'll not take it lying Down.

Fairplay to everybody whose opened up on here. Thankfully, not something I've had to endure, but those who've been brave enough to talk about it surely can only lead to others suffering in silence to not be ashamed and talk to their friends/family about it

On the stance of cynicism can we really afford to be cynical about something that takes so many lives. I'd rather be taken in by the very small minority than have a view which serves only the person holding it. Strange how peoples immediate response to the revelation of physical illness isnt one of cynicism. I've no doubt I too have 'friends' who dismiss my illness because they think they know me.

As a fellow sufferer, I've found reading this thread both sad and inspirational. The one thought that always goes through my mind is "Nobody understands or cares", to hear of others has brought home that I'm not alone. Far from it. For me it's a constant battle to find ways of taking me away from myself, if that even makes sense. I've found a few things in life that just seem to lift me, and inspire me, and its always about motivating myself to do those things rather than the routine get up-go to work-go home-drink myself stupid-repeat. Sometimes i manage it, other times (most of the time) i slump into the rut.



As for the cynicism, i understand it. Like some have said, human nature is such that people will always take advantage of certain situations to make things better for themselves. That said, and whatever the reasons for Bailey coming out, if it inspires just one other person to not suffer in silence, then for me it's worth it.

Great post!

I've had personal experience of this horrible illness and I've never read anything that comes close to describing it as well as you have. A brilliant post. Thank you mate.

So Bailey has done something good by coming out about this .Thankyou Bails

Un-intentionally maybe

all I am sayng is here seems to be quite a number of people on here who seem to be thankful to talk with other suffererers

I know - I was messing about....



It's fantastic that people on here have been able to discuss the matter and get something positive from this whole conversation! Great stuff...

Yes